Lessons Learned From...Maleficent

So my ma and I saw Maleficent as our last hurrah with me being a "single" girl. I thought it was pretty good, though surprisingly short (which wasn't bad since the USA vs. Belgium match started right after the movie ended).

So here are the things I learned while watching the revamp of Sleeping Beauty (SPOILER ALERT kind of):

If someone cuts off a piece of you and stores it in a glass container and makes it into a shrine and talks to it and goes crazy then it is highly possible that that piece of you could totally reattach to you and be perfectly fine, but only if you're magic.

If you have really high cheekbones, you're automatically a villain. (I'm watching you too, Stefan.)

In (supposedly) France, people have both British and Scottish accents, but not French accents.

 Always wear leather pants underneath your outfit, because you never know when someone's going to rip off your clothes during a fight, or when you need to become a horned Catwoman.

Ents are great crossover characters.

I will never feel okay with the lady who played Umbridge in Harry Potter #5, no matter how many other characters she plays. Never. I am sorry, Imelda Staunton. I am so so sorry.

The main thing I learned:
Disney is really on a kick right now of "true love" being not between two lovers, but between family or friends of some sort (like Frozen). 

Interesting.

This was the only Maleficent picture I liked on Google image search.

Lessons Learned From...The Hobbit movie

Alrighty ladies and gents, it's time for another round of "Lessons Learned From..." (cue the game show music) this time, featuring the second installment of the Hobbit series--The Desolation of Smaug.

This post probably includes spoilers, and under normal circumstances, I'd probably say, "Buck up, the book's been out for decades, you've had time to read it." But Peter Jackson takes liberties with the story, and a lot of stuff could be spoiled here. We'll see how I do. I write the intros before I write the body so I may not spoil anything.

Lessons Learned From...The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

1.  Making the name "Smaug" into two syllables makes you sound smart and British, which are basically synonyms anyway in the U.S.

2.  Short guys can get "hot" elf ladies. Don't give up hope, short guys.

3.  Even though the elf girl looks just like Arwen, (to the person that hasn't seen LOTR in a while) it's not.

4.  Dwarves are like dramatic friends--the kind that take you to a place filled with crap and say "You'll know what I'm asking for when you see it" without telling you anything else and make you find it with a fire-breathing dragon on your back.

5.  Physics are not true, if you judge by upright open barrels floating down a fast river unladen with the gallons of water that surely had been filling them up.

6.  Good flirting is making someone believe you just cursed them.

7.  Manipulating Benedict Cumberbatch's voice results in a voice that still sounds exactly like Benedict Cumberbatch.

8.  Gandalf is not as hardcore as previously believed?...or is he?...I guess you'll have to watch the movie?...

9.  Legolas is, and always will be, the peak of all Middle-earth males that geek-girls worldwide will go ga-ga over. (Sorry, Kili, it's just, he had our hearts when we weren't even teenagers yet, and he speaks Elvish, and he's a slick archer, and he's got long blond hair that girls dream of having. I mean, come on, Kili and I have the same hair. What's the fun of that? Besides, Kili, you just end up ...wait...that's a spoiler...)

Yeah, that about wraps it up for the new Hobbit movie. Overall, I really did like it, though I still don't understand why it's three movies and each movie is nearly three hours long. There go all my hopes of having a Hobbit/LOTR marathon when I own all the movies, unless I want to stay awake for two days. (SPOILER ALERT: I DON'T.)

This is Kili...

And this is likely the exact same Legolas poster I had when I was 11...

The Year in Pictures

These aren't necessarily my favorite pictures that I've taken, it's more of an overview of where I was and what I did in the past year. A highlights reel, if you will.

January

February

 

March

 

April

(A surprising lack of photos here)

May

Things I forgot about: This picture.

  

June

(My favorite month)

 July

August

 

 September

October

November

 December

Rewind, Be Kind

A photo that could probably describe many people's year.

The year is nearly over, and boy howdy how little I have blogged. I always take pride in this thing, and yet I neglect it so much. It's okay though, the blog's inanimate and doesn't really care what I do with it, so I don't feel too bad.

But this year, important things happened. And I don't just mean like, cool things, I mean, life-changing, eye-opening, world-flipping, wonderful and terrible things happened.

I won't put these in particular order, but the things that come to my head first are going to go first.

My sweet little niece was born in January, as you may remember from this post. She's healthy, getting bigger every day, and babbling like she's got something to tell you. She's also lifting herself up and crawling around, so any day now I'm ready for her to walk over to me!

Caleb was fantastic and proposed this summer in the most perfect-for-me way. Now we're planning a wedding set for summer.

I worked two different sports-related jobs and thus decided that becoming a sports media relations person perhaps was not the dream I wanted to follow like I had previously thought. My jobs offered a lot of experience though, and I liked them.

A friend died at a very young age. It hit hard for a lot of people, including me, my roommates, and Caleb. He was a good kid, and even in death it seems as if he is still touching lives.

I perfected my banana bread recipe. (Don't tell me this isn't life-changing. It's my specialty.)

We had a snow and ice storm that kept us stuck in the house for nearly a week. So much roommate bonding happened. It was good.

I made new friends and got to know current friends even better, which has also made me so much more happy this year than ever before.

Many friends got married this year, some of which allowed me the honor of being a part of their ceremonies.

I got my first fancy camera, and now I can take some decent pictures that are sharp and good quality. Heading on my way to grow my hopes of becoming a photographer.

And that about sums up everything I can remember. If you're lucky and I'm really diligent, I may post a photo year in review in the days to come.

Twas the Fifth Snowed-In Snow Day

 Twas the fifth snowed-in snow day, and all through the BTB House

Three creatures were stirring, and maybe a mouse.

The tree had been set up by the drafty old door

And that was the first day, to be followed by more.

The females were nestled in a row on the couch

And watched tons of movies, while stuck in a slouch.

Kelsy in her pajamas, and Hannah in her pajamas, and Tam in her pajamas,

Were all settled in wishing they were in the Bahamas.

When out in the yard arose such a loud noise,

We jumped on the futon and spied some young boys.

They had ruined the snow on our near-perfect lawn

So we decided to give up, and turned with a yawn.

In betwixt every movie, the girls would all stop

And remember the things that they once had forgot.

"Be productive! Do homework! Clean the house! Put on clothes!"

They'd say o'er and o'er, but forgot again, I suppose.

The second snow day came, and the girls all arose

To see that the snow would have frozen their toes.

So they hunkered back down on the couch, so quiet and comfy

To snapchat each other, with faces so frumpy

On the third snow day, the girls woke up sour,

And one did not get out of her bed til the 6 o'clock hour.

She read and she read til her eyes started crossing,

And the other two girls just ate cookies with no frosting.

On the fourth snow day, the girls ventured outside

To attend a church service and pimp their sweet ride

They received free food and had some good giggles

And went back to home to get rid of the wiggles.

The fifth snow day was met with a groan

As the girls began homework, each on their own

But that didn't last, as they grew more distracted,

They blew up social media like some little frat kid.

Alas, they know these days will not last,

When they can procrastinate and be distracted so fast

For finals approach, and break cometh soon,

The girls must begin waking up before noon.